help me save me kill me end me
i dont know what to do. i want to cut. the old cuts are finally starting to heal and i want to screw it up again. i really want to OD and i could, but i wont do that to the staff here and my roomates. i wish i could just sleep for a really long time. i want to get off this earth. i want a break. i want to be held. i want to be empty and light and free of weight. i want to not be injured and to not hurt (emotionally,from SI or from my injured ankle). i have physical therapy tomorrow and im supposed to get my drug screening done too for wal-mart. i cant work there. i need IP right now. im starting to not care about anything. little things (like laundry) are making me so anxious i want to puke, although i want to puke because ive been eating too much as well. wrap me up. im tired of hurting, im tired of being in the way, im tired of anger and pain and numbness and feeling like im on autopilot all the time. i cant do this, someone help me im drowning. i need to get a job and transition and move out but im not ready yet. this is what they expect of me. help me please. ive been lying to myself and to my pdoc and t. i hurt so much right now. i want to go away. i think im going to sleep after i cut, <3,
-molliebear
-molliebear
posted by sadangelx at 9:32 PM
1 Comments:
you've gotta help you hon...no one of us can help ya when ya have a shitty T and aren't getting a new one sooner than soon and yer not on the IP list, which u will figure out u need sooner or later...those r things u can do for u...try coping in positive ways more...it's hard as hell I know and lots of times it dun feel as good as the SI, but it does make things a lil better...i've been trying to use um more, it dun work all the time...but that coping stuff kept me from cutting for a month strait...blah blah blah...u know all u need to do...maybe yer feathers just aren't rustled enough to want the healthy stuff so bad just yet...either way...i'm out here listening...tis about all I can do *hugs* and love yer guts (I can do that too).
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