I almost died today- I was a foot away from getting hit by a car. I feel completely disgusting, i am so fat i am fighting so hard not to purge. I miss Dawn, I miss Samula, i miss having friends :( I work tomorrow and I really don't want to. I'm exhausted physically but my mind is going fast. I want to cut deep again but i don't want to go IP at all. My therapist is going to be mad at me for not doing internal meetings everyday. I did part of one today. I kinda just checked in. I'm having lots of SU thoughts, not sure where they came from. I miss my mom even though she was a bitch on the phone the other day (she later apologized). I feel cruddy and I want out of TAY. I feel like my other two roomates are more bonded together now and I feel like three's a crowd. well, im off to sleep hopefully, <3,


-molliebear