feel very anxious. been cutting practically every night. work is stressing me out mucho!! I miss "D" and Sam. Sam hasn't contacted me in any way and i keep thinking it must be me, she never liked me, i was just there to talk at or something. im down. im falling closer and closer to IP each minute. someone at work realized i was a cutter today (i have scars on my arms- though i've been wearing t-shirts and whatnot for like, 3 months already)- she actually said "Oh, you're a cutter"- half question, half statement. she told me she used to do it when she was depressed in her past relationship. i like her a lot though, so her commenting about my scars didn't bother me much- i get more freaked out when people ask *what* they are, as if there is some logical reason that i have scars all over my arms (well, to clarify, my left arm [im right handed]). i run out of nice ways to avoid answering. sometimes i wanna say "NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS!", but im nicer than that haha.im so tired of working, it's making my immune system crap (i have some sort of sinus infection/cough/achey mess going on) plus i just feel like shit most of the time, im either tired from not getting enough sleep or from working so long a shift. nine hours is a damn long time (lol, considering the bitchiness-of-the-customer ratio). well, all this journaling didn't do shit for me really (parts are still having their own issues and whatnot). having ED issues (texture kinda stuff), and of course body memories. How would my life be complete without my baggage? lol. going to take a bath, maybe help w/ the body memories? <3,




-molliebear