A great end to a fucking lovely day in the park

like things weren't bad enough. this person who i've been talking to on the internet just was preaching to me about obesity. im not *that* fat. i'm not medically obese. I think of myself as obese. It just hurts. You think that people could understand how an eating disorder could make you gain weight or lose it. apparently not. i dont need to be ridiculed or told about the dangers of being fat. how about the dangers of being too thin? do you tell an anorexic she's fat?no. even if she *is* fat that's just something you DONT say to someone with an ED. Agh, it makes me so angry at myself for ever trusting this person. It hurts, a lot. I've listened to this person talk about her struggles and never told her something so harsh- i don't delve into her personal life and make mean comments about her.im just, hurt. im just SO tired of being hurt! it can't be fair that one person has to hurt so much. now i want to fucking cut. great. just fucking great. and i probably will, because whether i have an ED or not im not going to let myself off the hook for being fat. it's just not okay. i know im probably going to fucking die some day from some SI injury or my ED or just plain suicide. And how can one expect someone over the internet to really care? I was just ignorant and naive enough to believe it. yeah.


<---this is what i WANT TO DO! Fuck. But I won't i'll just keep it all bottled up inside until i explode or die. whichever comes first.