yesterday

this woman at the grocery store yesterday was all like "I'd help you with your water(Igot like, 24 1/2 liter bottles) but I strained my back" so I go get a cartand she sees me from the front and she says "Oh, and you're pregnant too!"and I quickly was like "no, im not" and she patted me on the back andapologized but i cried in the parking lot. i walked fucking 4 miles todayand I've walked 2 miles everyday except on the weekends sometimes i donthave anyone to walk withand I've been practically eating nothing and taking the damn diet pills(I'veonly taken them for a day and I take them "as directed" on the label).I'mjust so tired of being mistaken for being pregnant and being overweight andlaughed at or commented on. I am well aware of how ugly and large I am and Iwish people would realize that *I KNOW* i look like shit all the time. Iknow I'm obese! Keep your comments and laughter to yourself, it hurts. Ihate myself *so* much right now. I just can't keep it anymore, i walk asmuch as i can and eat as healthy as i can and it just isn't working. i don'twant to wait 3-4 weeks for any improvement. i dont want to wait for thisweight to leave. I fucking hate myself. I hate being obese. My BMI even says it. My scale is weird, it said at one time that I didn't lose any weight and at another time that I lost 6 pounds. I wanted to go to the YMCA to usetheir scale b/c there's is better and more accurate than my 6$ scale wal-mart scale.