work has been crazy. i used the treadmill for the first time yesterday! it was an awesome feeling. i decided (due to ED shit and whatnot) to only use it 3 days a week (when i don't work) and to only do a half hour at a time for now. the eating aspect of the ED is doing better, food texture not so bothersome. of course, when one problem gets better another gets worse, been having body memories like hell. keep grounding myself, it's 2006, im in evil TAY and i have roomates. my dad is in delaware and he can't get me. been triggered like hell lately, not really sure why, i dont think it's the time of year and there aren't any real anniversaries- maybe my b-day just finally hit me. i dunno, lots of fathers and daughters coming in to work, freaks me out. i've been missing the normal, healthy aspects of my dad- hell, i miss having a dad. it's like he's completely out of the picture- hell, he has been since i was 17 and stopped talking to him all together. i wish i had a normal daddy that didnt hurt us. better go before the child parts come out and get freaked out by the body memories. i miss dawn, i like talking to her, it soothes me. <3,



-molliebear