i feel like shit. "A" was just up and critiqued the whole apartment. I feel like I never do anything good enough and I can never do anything right. She has no empathy. They all have this "I have it worse than you" attitude that I hate. I feel miserable. I feel like I'm gonna puke and get my period at the same time. So needless to say I'm down tonight. I'm on the verge of feeling su, but I might SI instead (that's a better alternative I guess) and that will be my "bad deed" of the night. I can't purge because I feel so sick and I just took my night meds. I don't know how I'll get to go home on the weekend because my room is not spotless. I feel like I'll never get to go to sleep until everything is done. I hate this sick feeling in my stomach. I want to cry. I want to give up, I want her to leave. I really want her to leave. I want to be alone. I feel like the smallest piece of crap scum ever. She has that effect on people. I'm glad I get to go to work tomorrow even though it's just during the club hours. I hate this. I want to cut so badly, cut away the pain. I hope I can hold on for tonight, <3,




-molliebear