it hurts right here in this void.

i feel like shit. i feel guilty, i feel angry, i feel hurt, i feel i don't even know what. i bought "tools" at the store and im so fucked up im excited to use them. i see my grandma and mom tomorrow, so that will help. i feel sorta sick/crampy and i feel melancholy. Boo hoo emo kid. It's one of those days I don't know what to do to make myself feel better(except purge/self injure/restrict)I want to be cuddled and rocked and told everything is going to be ok. there is no one to do that for me right now, except myself. i hate self soothing, because what is soothing to me is not "right" or "acceptable". how come me hurting me is wrong but someone else hurting me is okay? i hurt. i dont know what will help me. i wish i could just be "fixed". i want to cry but the tears don't come. , <3, molliebear