this is the story of a girl

So the CSA people didn't come last Thursday. Georgia is coming to inspect tomorrow. The good thing is that I might get my hair done tomorrow. That's all I can look forward to right now. I'm in a crappy lonely place even around people. I want to cut so badly- the hurt is swelling up inside and it has to be let out somehow. I was planning to go to Michaels and buy a xacto but I don't know how expensive they are. It could just be one of those fantasies about self injury that goes away with time (like when I wanted to cut my eyelids). There are some people here that are scaring me (i'm at the library). There's a new guy visiting today, I don't really have any opinion or sense of what he's about yet. A girl is coming to visit tomorrow, hopefully she'll be more like A and me then like J. Must go, should be reading but of course I'm going to check my e-mail.