spoiler whatever, past issues

falling apart. there is no one to pick up the pieces.probably cut tonight, definitely purge. need the badness to go away. there is a dark cloud covering my eyes cant see all i smell is his cologne. i want to throw up. i choke. we're just finishing elementry school,, you'll be a doctor he says. put his hand there while we're having lunch, under the table nobody notices but us. i move away, going to the bathroom we say. stare at myself in the mirror hating it. it wont end for another 3 years but i do not know that then. even after it is over it is not over. it replays in the head over and over, familiar faces, fragments of a memory, incomplete. there had to be more than one of us to survive. wish we were dead sometimes. maybe one of us can survive if mollie cant? dont know how that will work.





X-Samantha