why is stability scary?

I guess I'm in what some people would call a stable state. It feels wrong, and is uncomfortable. I'm so used to being scared and needing help and getting attention for it that now that i don't get the attention i dont feel right, i feel like im not being taken seriously because im not IP and cutting so much (they don't think i am at all). Work is getting to be tiresome and less and less rewarding. I end up just feeling tired all the time. The holidays are bumming me out, I miss my aunt and for some reason (maybe it's hormones) i feel like i should be married and having kids by now (even tho' im only 20). I feel like I dont have much time left on this planet. I don't know why i feel like this. it isn't really a suicidal kind of thought- but sometimes i wish i was with my aunt, wherever spirits go and whatnot. i miss my mommy and child parts are scared for god knows what reason. well, im going to try to soothe some of us (me) down. As always, Dawn- I LYG!! <3,




-molliebear et all