Been busy with work. Haven't had the chance to talk to Dawn or Sam. I'm worried about Sam, I haven't talked to her in a *long* time. I've been having intrusive thoughts about the suicide that occurred when I was at SP in 2004. I just keep seeing her body on the ground, and staff trying so hard to get her heart to beat and for her to breathe. She had a pulse when she left SP, but she died at GBMC. It was so final. We thought she just SI-ed really badly or something. we didn't think she would die. her smile just keeps flashing in my head. i had only been there a week when this happened. i still haven't gotten over it. And then the other SU at SP that occurred when I wasn't there haunts me too. I remember talking to her and what she dressed and what calmed her down when she freaked out. The only good I see to all these thoughts is to remind me that even though I might feel better if I was dead, that it would leave a trail of sorrow (and i have to dig deep down to realize that). Well, I've done enough "deep reflection" for tonight, Dawn- I LYG!! Sam is prolly' not reading thissssss but if she is i luv& miss you mucho!! <3,



-molliebear