AGHHHHHHHHHHHH. So, so, so, *extremely* tired of trying to be everyone's friend, be nice to everyone even when they piss me off, and not make anyone mad. I'm tired of everyone being so damn super-sensitive and emo. Get over it (It's not PMS, I hate everyone equally ;D). Hell, maybe it *is* PMS but damn. Okay, so things are better now- STILL CRAPPY...but better. The stupid blogspot won't let me change the time, this post is really being posted at 10pm.

and the soap opera continues...

She doesn't mind her damn business, she gets a pissy attitude because we're trying to make the apartment look nice. Give me a fucking break, it's not like the table is *broken* or *doesn't work* because she moved it. She had lended the damn thing to D anyways. If D had moved it she wouldn't have cared. It's stupid, D^2 moved my TV and I didn't get an attitude. She's just trying to keep the place nice and comfortable. I don't see why she's so defensive about everything.She's just scared because D^2 and I are better friends and have been roomates before and she probably feels left out. I feel angry at her and I don't know why, but I'm not ganging up on her with D^2 or anything. We offered her her own bathroom to use and she got angry. I don't know what to do to make her feel better but it's not my job really. She's been there for me but she's also spread rumors about me and talked behind my back and told my secrets. If she doesn't get what she wants she cries or sulks and doesn't tell anyone that she's pissed/sad/whatever. It's a rather immature and unsuccessful way to act because you can't express what you want and you don't get any of those needs or wishes fulfilled. Oh well, I can't do anything about it. grrrr.
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Oh yes, and let's not forget, it's not PMS I just hate you :D (to no one in particular)

I wish I didn't live in a teenage soap opera.

I feel pissed. People take things *so* personally sometimes. Stating the facts hurts sometimes. Some people need to mature emotionally. Some things aren't meant as an attack or insult, they just are. I don't get why we all have to intensify the drama. Some things that are said are hard to hear, this will happen in real life. I wish I didn't live in a teenage soap opera. I miss my Dawnie-pooh-pooh-kiss-kiss and Sam! I wish they were here. They understand me the best. Oh well, I can just hope that some people can mature/grow up. I understand lying is juvenile but sometimes it's one of those little white lies people tell to prevent someone from hurting their feelings. I feel like that icon up there. I feel other ways too but the icons won't load. I feel like I'm 100 years old and like I haven't slept in days.

the best song ever...haha...or only the best at 1am

You pissed me off, you fuckin' jerk, you get on my nerves,...lalalalala. The Rodeo song by David Allen Coe is the best "country" like song i've heard. It is making me laugh and i want to tell a certain somebody that they pissed me off that they're a fucking jerk. LOL. Things are okay (but aren't they always at 1am?) I'm waiting for Sam's package to get forwarded here. I actually don't care if she really did send it out or not i just like to check my mail :) I have the Mr. Lonely song stuck in my freaking head. Sweet Jesus Mother Mary!So it's day 4 being out of SP. I still haven't talked to my Dawn who is inpatient somewhere else. I hope she's doing okay.Well, I must sleep or I will not be Molliebear, I will be grumpybear. I found a good site.... let met put the banner and a link because I can't do both- I'm technologically ignorant.

www.survivingthememories.com

Hopefully this site can help someone, anyone really. Okay, I *REALLY* need to go to bed. Goodnight Moon.

Thanksgiving went okay. Nobody cried or acknowledged that my aunt wasn't there. My grandmother didn't make the green bean casserole because it reminds her too much of my aunt. We didn't have stuffing either because my aunt usually made it. I felt like a piece of myself was missing. It was good to see my grandmother so happy for a while though. I love her so much. well, it's off to bed, i walked a 5k today and have to go to the fucking day program tomorrow. it's just another one of those things i wish i didn't have to do.

So I spent a month at SP. I feel like I was pressured a little bit to leave when I did but I've been safe so far tonight and my mom took my primary tool used to SI. I hope my friend, D, is doing well and I wish I could get in contact with her sometime or send her a package. The package sent from S never got to me but the unit said they'd forward it to me when it comes up. Not much interesting stuff is going on, I'm having GI problems- reflux and whatnot. Seeing the doctor on Monday who will tell me to go the the GI doctor and do an endoscopy. well, i should go , i have to sleep so i can wake up tomorrow on time. I'll write more about the SP experience sometime else.

There may be openings tomorrow at SP! I don't think I could take much more of this. I know it's weird to be happy about going IP, but I've had to wait for so long already. I don't have to worry as much about staying safe there. I really hope this happens tomorrow. Otherwise it'll be another day of hell

So my therapist sucks the suckiet suck that ever sucked!!!!

Yes. My t's reason for canceling today, "sick". Now, I dunno about you but when I'm sick a telephone isn't any harder to pick up than it is when i'm well. I don't understand how you can leave someone who is needing IP to just sit over the weekend with no phone call, no call to say I'm on the list or not, no call until today to tell me she's "out". I think this t actually *wants* me to leave her! Otherwise why would she play these bullshit games with us? If someone is lazy and doesn't check messages, or even if they DO check messages, that isn't enough you have to respond to them!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. Frederick is freaking out, he's SO pissed at this t. we can't blame hin. The littles are relieved she isn't dead but still feel abandoned. This is frustrating.

and my t has still, yet to call me back. i wonder what happend?...blah. i hate not knowing what's going on.

i was a dinosaur in a past life. :D

BRONOTSAURUS