I have a g/f in the group home I live in and im not allowed to really. Well, I mentioned it to a person who used to be in the program and she was pissed because she wanted to date me back then (before my current g/f moved in) but I said no because I didn't want anything physical and that's what she wanted. I feel so upset I want to cut. She must not care anymore. I hate this. She is angry and threatening to tell staff but I told them first, but the thing is, we don't have a physical relationship at all (me and my current g/f). God I hate this, I feel like cutting because I'm just a big fuck up. I thought she was my friend- apparently not. The urge to SI is so strong. I feel like a fuck up and like in the end no one will be/stay with me. My abusers were right. i cant stand this.


(((hugs))),(molliebear)
"She takes the pills to fall asleep,And dream that she's invisible,Tormented dreams she stays awake,Recalls when she was capable"