therapy/work/therapy/work. jumping through the hoops
i feel like im either in some sort of therapy or at work all the time. things at home are stressful b/c they just keep making it harder & harder to live here. i had to clean the van AND mow the lawn this week. I did it before the "deadline" though b/c i knew it would stress me out to think about all week. At work today I got really dizzy and my vision got narrow in a way and i had to hold on to the register wall so I didn't fall. My heart skipped like 5 beats and then I felt weird. I
(unfortunately) was helping a customer when this happened and I had to act like everything was dandy. I told her and she made some remark about that being a part of pregnancy and I told her I wasn't and she said "Maybe you don't know it and you are!". It pissed me off. I'm not FUCKING pregnant. FUCK. I need to exercise more, cut back on food, take more diet pills. I dunno if the ED is what fucked my heart up or not. I almost felt bad enough to go to the hospital but i decided to wait for my break to take care of myself. I need to take some hard candies with me to suck on up there [at the register] b/c my (i guess) blood sugar gets too low and I feel weird and get sweaty. I'm probably freaking diabetic type 2 or some shit like that. SOMETHING is wrong, I dunno what the hell it is. my electrolytes are prolly' fucked up- I got a 64 fl. oz container of gatorade to drink between today and tomorrow. I haven't been thirsty or hungry (no shit) lately but I need my fluids so I don't pass out at work (or anywhere). The heart thing kinda scared me, I almost wanted to go to the hospital but I was scared they'd IP me or something for ED crap. I'm fine, really I am. Anyways, I did my stupid chores and we took out the trash blah blah blah so we don't get a "consequence" im glad i did it when i first got home b/c it's fucking pouring now. i feel like sleeping. i just feel like going to work all day and then sleeping the rest of the time. i want to be with my mom a lot lately- i've been talking to her on the phone a lot more lately. i dunno why. i'm going through Dawn withdraw!! I haven't talked to her or read any updates in her blog (there aren't any). well, im off, maybe i'll go to bed early, who knows. <3,
-molliebear
(unfortunately) was helping a customer when this happened and I had to act like everything was dandy. I told her and she made some remark about that being a part of pregnancy and I told her I wasn't and she said "Maybe you don't know it and you are!". It pissed me off. I'm not FUCKING pregnant. FUCK. I need to exercise more, cut back on food, take more diet pills. I dunno if the ED is what fucked my heart up or not. I almost felt bad enough to go to the hospital but i decided to wait for my break to take care of myself. I need to take some hard candies with me to suck on up there [at the register] b/c my (i guess) blood sugar gets too low and I feel weird and get sweaty. I'm probably freaking diabetic type 2 or some shit like that. SOMETHING is wrong, I dunno what the hell it is. my electrolytes are prolly' fucked up- I got a 64 fl. oz container of gatorade to drink between today and tomorrow. I haven't been thirsty or hungry (no shit) lately but I need my fluids so I don't pass out at work (or anywhere). The heart thing kinda scared me, I almost wanted to go to the hospital but I was scared they'd IP me or something for ED crap. I'm fine, really I am. Anyways, I did my stupid chores and we took out the trash blah blah blah so we don't get a "consequence" im glad i did it when i first got home b/c it's fucking pouring now. i feel like sleeping. i just feel like going to work all day and then sleeping the rest of the time. i want to be with my mom a lot lately- i've been talking to her on the phone a lot more lately. i dunno why. i'm going through Dawn withdraw!! I haven't talked to her or read any updates in her blog (there aren't any). well, im off, maybe i'll go to bed early, who knows. <3,
-molliebear
posted by sadangelx at 7:44 PM
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